


I thought I imagined you, my love...

by Waya_Rainwater_1



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, But they are still ninja's tho, Couch Cuddles, Gay Raphael, M/M, Raph Needs A Hug, Raph needs someone who can keep him calm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-06-30 23:05:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15761553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waya_Rainwater_1/pseuds/Waya_Rainwater_1
Summary: Raphael is one hot headed angry boy. His brothers are tired of his anger and fire-y personality.He has two secrets that he dares not tell his brothers and sensei.





	1. Calming the raging fire with a gentle breeze...

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this instead of sleeping. Sleep is for the weak! I have selective insomnia. My insomnia levels are down by a little bit tonight... 
> 
> CAN'T I JUST SLEEP LIKE A NORMAL PERSON ONCE IN A WHILE?!?!?!?  
> The answer to that is no, no I can not...

He had gotten into a fight with Leo again. 

It was dark as he continued his journey above the lit up city. Raph always believed it was the destination that was important and what you did along the way, but he hadn't figured out where his journey's destination was at yet. For him he always ended up back in the sewers and in his room at an old underground train station that had been abandoned and forgotten for years. But tonight he felt like there was something out there waiting for him. 

He stopped mid walk and turned to look out over the city. He leaned on the ledge railing and closed his eyes. The gentle nightly breeze flowed through his blood-red hair that had black highlights in it. The sound of night time traffic, the feeling of the light wind against his arms ruffling the ripped fabric of this old sleeveless black vest, the taste of the city air on his tongue, the smell of trash in nearby alleys and flowers from window boxes. All these feelings hitting him all at once. He would never get tired of it. 

He needed to calm down, but how? How would he be able to control his insufferable anger? Would he ever get along with his brothers? Would he ever be tough enough to keep them safe or happy? Would sensei ever be proud of him? Millions of questions raced through his head. 

He was so distracted that he didn't notice the rooftop door opening and someone stepping out onto said roof. 

"Oh, hi! I didn't think anyone else would be up here!" the stranger exclaimed. Raph whipped around and pulled out his sais' in defense. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the beautiful boy before him. 

The boy looked no older than himself. About sixteen, with black hair and one white stripe running through it, electric blue eyes that popped against his pale skin that almost shone in the moonlight. The stranger also had on a long sleeved black t-shirt with a white skull on it that slid off at one shoulder. The shirt looked too big on the boy, but he was wearing really short pajama bottoms that went just a few inches above the knees. The gorgeous boy had delicate looking hands with black nail polish his nails. A silver band was on his ring finger with a black skull attached to it, another ring band was worn on his thumb but it was a pure black with emeralds embedded into the ring all the way around it. The boy seemed to be a little shorter than him by a few inches. 

The boy ignored his defensive stance completely and walked over to lean against the ledge railing and stared at seemingly nothing over the city. 

"The city is very beautiful isn't it?" the strange but beautiful boy asked him. 

"Yeah, it is." Raph replied softly, relaxing a little and putting his weapons back. He gazed out upon the city. The boy beside him sighed in contentment. 

"My name is Shado, what's yours?" The boy- Shado- asked after a few beats of silence. 

"Raphael, you can call me Raph though." Raph replied easily. He didn't know what it was about this boy but he felt calm with him. It felt as if all his anger had faded away into nothingness and left a calming breeze in its wake. 

"Okay... The stars are out tonight Raph. Even though we can't really see them they're out there. Some don't want to be seen, but they're the ones that seem to shine the brightest... In a way people are stars as well. I like to think that people make an impact on others and they become an inspiration, then they become bright stars in the sky when they die as if in remembrance to those who needed inspiration the most. Don't you think?" Shado said softly. 

Raph couldn't help but smile a little at how poetic his words sounded. "Sure, My sensei likes to think that when a great warrior dies, instead of going to heaven their spirits float up and become stars in the night sky."

"Yes, but what do  _you_ think? What do  _you_ feel?" Shado asked turning to him, looking him in the eyes. 

Raph was a little startled at this. No one ever asked him what he felt or thought. He looked down at his hands that were gripping the ledge railing. 

"I think my family doesn't really listen to me. They've never asked how I felt and it pisses me off... I've tried talking to them and getting involved with their conversations but it always ends up with one of them getting pissed off at me. I feel like I need to be the strongest one out of all my brothers, to keep them safe, to protect them and be angry for them. They all have their own things, Donnie is a genius, Mikey is a goofy-knucklehead, and Leo is the most calm out of all of us. I'm the one with the most anger issues in the family and it fucking pisses me off! I love my brothers, and I just want them to be happy... but how can I keep them happy if I can't even keep from exploding?" he voiced with sadness and anger filling his voice. 

Shado hummed at this as if thinking. 

"If you want I can help you with your anger, I used to have a friend who had the same problem. She went on to be a child anger management psychologist." The beautiful boy informed him. "Only if you want to though, I'm not going to force you into it. But if you ever want to try then you can swing by my apartment. My door will always be open to friends, old... and new." He said in after thought. 

"I want to be better for them, I need to be better for them. If it means I can talk with my brothers and be in the same room with them without arguing then I'll do it. I need to know that I can be calmer around them. When do we start?" the ninja asked the emo boy. 

"Now or tomorrow if you want. I'm not going to tell you what to do though, I'm just going to give you advice. Interaction can also be helpful as well as attention and affection. Most people are deprived of those and it can cause them to get aggressive, angry, and depressed, feeling like they need to do better. If you're not ready to start on it today then we can start whenever you feel you're ready." Shado informed him kindly. 

Raph mulled it over for a minute. Was he deprived of those things? Absolutely! He was more than ready. 

"I want to start tonight. I want to be able to go back home tonight a little calmer than before, then I'll come back tomorrow for another session. But... if you're willing, would I be able to come over to just hang out sometimes?" Raph asked him. 

"Of course. Come on, I'll show you to my apartment. You're going to need to know which one it is when you want to come over." Shado smiled a little and walked back over to the door and opened it.

The silent ninja followed after him wordlessly. His heart was racing, but his thoughts were clear and he could finally think for once. This guy was so different. It was a good different though. Raph had only just met the guy but something about him screamed safety and calm, like finally having someone who would listen to him whenever he needed to get something off his chest or to just hang out whenever he needed a friend to help him forget about the stress and anger and depression. 

* * *

 

Raph went home that night happy and calm. Calmer and happier than he'd been in a long time. 

He entered his home deep in the sewers. His small smile never leaving his face. His brothers were in the living room. Leo was reading his comics, Donnie messaging his girlfriend April, Mikey was watching his favorite show with a dorkish smile on his face as he watched in excitement and awe. The sight made Raph smile more. He waved at them and went over to the arcade game they had and started to calmly play said game. 

Mikey came up to him a few minutes later and squinted at him suspiciously and poked his head. 

"Yeah? What's up Mikey? You want a turn?" Raph asked calmly with a smile. 

"Dude... are you okay? You're acting strange. You never smile this much..." Mikey asked, concerned. Raph just gave him a soft smile. 

"I'm fine Mikey, I just decided that it was time for a change. That's all little brother." he informed him and ruffled his blonde hair. The usually goofy ninja just blinked at him with a confused expression. 

"Well... okay then, if you're sure..." 

"I am, now how about you go watch your show? You don't want to miss it do you?"

"Oh man! I almost forgot! Thanks Raph!" 

Mikey sped back to his spot in front of the tv. Raph watched his brothers for a minute then disappeared to his room. 

"Night guys!" He shouted over his shoulder and closed his bedroom door. He sighed in relief and sank to the floor. He leaned his head back against the metal of his door then texted Shado. 

_**Raph:** _

  _It worked, just like you said. Thank you._

 

 

 ** _Beautiful Emo:_**  

_No problem, you deserve to be just as happy as your brothers! And if anyone says otherwise I will help in giving them a punch in the face. But only if I have your permission to do so._

_(I'd probably punch them otherwise though;))_

 

Just imagining that sent his heart racing and made his face heat up into a blush. He felt cared for. 

Was he starting to crush on Shado? Yes, yes he was. Did he need to tell his family that he was gay? Yes. Did he feel brave enough to do it? No, no he didn't. But he wasn't going to admit to anyone that he was scared for even a second, ever. (Except for Shado.) 

 Raph texted Shado good night and fell asleep with dreams of electric blue eyes and a kind smile...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sniffs air* I smell a time skip!~

It had been three months since Raph had met Shado.

The boy whose eyes and gorgeous smile haunted his dreams every night. 

Raph was going to stay the night at the beautiful boy's apartment tonight. He packed his pajamas and his two sais' just in case in a back pack he bought. He put his phone in his usual ninja vest in the inside pocket. His brothers would be too distracted to see him heading out and Master Splinter was going to be meditating in his room so Raph would be able to get past them with ease. 

He slid out of his room with his bag on his shoulder and shut his door silently then proceeded to slip past his distracted brothers and out of the lair. He continued on his way through the sewers. Tonight was the night he was going to confess his love for Shado. Even if the beautiful boy rejected him he would never forget his first love. 

* * *

 

Raph was on the fire escape in front of Shado's window with a happy but nervous smile. 

He knocked on the glass and waited. The curtains pulled apart a minute later to reveal electric blue eyes, pale skin, black hair with a white stripe going through it, accompanied by the same beautiful smile he fell in love with three months ago. Shado was dressed in a black t-shirt that fell at the shoulder with the words, _'In every Angel a Demon hides, In every Demon an Angel strides...'_ , some black loose sweat pants along with a black choker with a silver metal turtle attached to it. In other words he looked hot. Raph smirked at him in a friend way, trying to hide his nervousness. 

“Hey, come on in Raph! I’ve got pizza in the oven so dinner will be ready in a bit.” Shado told him with a welcoming smile.

Raph climbed through the window and stepped into the apartment. He set his bag onto the couch.

“Hey Shado? I need to tell you something… I'm just not sure how to tell you…” Raph started.

Shado looked over at him from his place in the kitchen.

“If you need to tell me something Raph, just come out and say it. Don't be afraid of what comes after, just say what you feel.” Shado told him with a soft smile walking over to him and leading him to the couch.

“I don't know how to say it, but…  I really like you. Like as more than a friend. Ever since we met the only thing I’ve been able to think about is you. You're beautiful in the way that I can't even think straight. When I think of you all I hear is your calm voice, it’s like a cool ocean breeze. When I think of you I think of your amazing personality that’s been able to keep me calm and happy. With you I feel relaxed, like I can talk about anything and you’ll understand and help me through my troubles. But now I want to be there for you. I want you to be able to talk to me about what's bothering you now. I… I fell in love with you… Even if it's only been three months I feel like you've been with me for years.” Raph explained softly.

Shado looked stunned for a minute but then relaxed into a kind and caring smile. The pale boy wrapped his arms around Raph and hugged him close. Then he proceeded to peck him on the cheek a few seconds later.

Raph was surprised at first but then he relaxed his tense shoulders.

“I’ve felt that way about you too. Ever since I met you I feel as if I’ve found some excitement in my life, someone who could love me for me. When we met you were like a ticking time bomb ready to burst, I could feel your sadness and anger radiating like a fire-y aurora surrounding you, but I got to see the best parts of you because of it. I’m glad we met, and I feel like we haven’t just been friends for months, but secret lovers for years. I… I fell for you too Raph, and I fell hard. You exploded into my life like a bright and beautiful firework. Thank you. Maybe I could meet your brothers and your sensei, sometime?” Shado replied nervously with a blush gracing his cheeks.

Raph smiled softly, he would love to introduce Shado to his family.

“I would love that. Maybe someday..” He informed him happily, hugging Shado tightly.

“Okay.” Shado told him lovingly and snuggled into Raph.

The two stayed like that until dinner was ready and ate in silence with happy smiles formed on their lips. After that they watched a movie, cuddling on the couch, until both were asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter will be up soon!  
> Author needs sleep desperately. I am losing lots of sleep because of my insomnia!  
> Kudos please! I gives you peoples much kudos!


End file.
